


San's Resolution

by Skyla_Seijuro, tokkitokki



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, Flowers, Fluff, Further tags for the smut will be added, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Overuse of Flowers, Past Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unspecified Setting, With A Twist, past homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:27:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25291648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyla_Seijuro/pseuds/Skyla_Seijuro, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokkitokki/pseuds/tokkitokki
Summary: San's hatred towards life was a problem he didn't know how to take care of. All alone with thoughts that dragged him deeper down, suffocated him. One fateful day, when a mark of a star appeared on his scarred wrist, he realised that his problems were now someone else's too.San hated himself but Seonghwa was there to aid him.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Jeong Yunho, Choi San/Park Seonghwa, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 60
Collections: TBC





	1. The House Full of Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by [this post](https://twitter.com/ATEEZofficial/status/1280154537202860034).  
> Thanks a lot for my lovely friend tokkitokki who helped me and gave me further ideas!
> 
> The tags are very dark but the fic itself is not about the negative side. You will see.

San was sick of his life.

When the moving car stopped for a moment, he jumped out of the car. He heard his name but he never looked back, just continued to run, faster as he heard hurried steps following him. He didn’t need to say goodbye, he just needed to get away, fast.

He remembered the morning, how only his sister was there to bid farewell. She had hugged him tight, San thought he would suffocate for a moment, but the tears of his sister were enough for him to endure the embrace. He hugged her back, but he couldn’t cry. He may have hated almost everything about his situation but if there was something he hated more, it was his home, his so-called family. So he ran faster even if his breath started to get ragged and his legs started to hurt. Soon he heard those steps fade away, but he didn’t stop until he reached a small street. People were looking at him curiously, but he had learned how not to care about stares, he didn’t care about the other people as he leaned forward and held onto the nearest wall while trying to catch his breath. He knew nobody would talk to him.

San was okay, he didn’t need anybody to help him. He would just catch his breath then ask someone where the town hall was so that they could show him where he was staying for the rest of his time. He wanted to laugh, he couldn’t even estimate how long he would endure his joke of a life.

While he was breathing heavily with his eyes closed to regain his energy, he flinched with a touch on his shoulder. A gentle yet hesitant one that made him straighten quickly and look at the source of it. A boy around his age, with eyes full of concern and a glint of nervousness, looked back which made San want to run away again, but he was stuck on the ground as their eyes locked. The person was beautiful and even if San jerked away, his hand remained there, like San was some kind of an animal that needed comfort.

He was, wasn’t he?

“You must be San.” the person said, his voice was low and as gentle as his touch. “I am Park Seonghwa, I will be the one taking care of you.”

Not everyone knew these people existed. The people who were solely born for other’s happiness, to make them feel in peace and to make them remain alive. People called them caretakers, most of them thinking they were just myths. Caretakers usually hid, to live their lives away from the ones they were destined with, but not all of them were lucky. Eventually, most of them were found by their fateful others or were sent to a town where they lived among people like them, the town that San was currently in.

San hated it, hated that he needed one, destined to be with one. Right from his eighteenth birthday when the mark of a star appeared on his wrist, showing that his fate was already decided. Now small scars decorated the star, but never cloaked it. Somehow the stars always managed to hide the transparent lines behind themselves, like they were protecting San, protecting him from himself and all the reminders that haunted him. Every small cut made the stars duplicate and move up his arm and to his shoulder. By the time he was twenty his left arm and shoulder were full of constellations, like the night sky he only ever saw in the movies.

San was sick of his life, but the moment he locked eyes with Park Seonghwa and saw the same star next to his right eye, he couldn’t run away like he always did.

“How do you know my name? Why should I believe you?” San questioned. The other seemed honest with his words but life taught him not to trust, even if it sounded honest and heart left. He crossed his arms and scanned Seonghwa with squinted eyes not even hiding his suspicion. The other however didn’t seem affected by his behaviour, on the contrary, he looked encouraged. Seonghwa stepped closer to him and pointed at the star next to his eye.

“The news of your arrival reached us a week prior. Can you show me your mark for a moment?" he asked. "I can prove it to you”.

San didn’t want to, nonetheless, he extended his arm and waited for Seonghwa to comment on the scars on his skin. Seonghwa never did, he only took his hand and pulled it closer to his face. San’s hand slowly caressed the other’s cheek, his thumb touching the skin right next to the star. He felt a sudden spark wash through him and felt his mark burn, far more pleasant than it was painful. The star on his wrist started to shine, first crimson but as time passed it became yellow, then a light blue at the same time as the one on Seonghwa’s skin. They shined together and Seonghwa looked a little uncomfortable. He must feel the burn too San thought to himself. Before long San’s hand was released slowly to his side and Seonghwa took a small step back to leave a comfortable distance between the two, after their interaction which San felt was rather intimate.

“Believe me now?”

San’s wrist continued to burn with the aftereffects, he wondered how it would feel if they were closer to each other for the rest of his marks to glow up. It was the first time after two years that the small star lighted up which made San want to see more of it, feel more of it. But he also needed to get himself together before Seonghwa thought there was something wrong with him, spacing out and staring at the place where his hand was mere seconds ago. His mind was yet again drifting to places it wasn’t supposed to and San couldn’t stop it.

“I do.” he answered. Simple, he didn’t need to say more. Seemed like it was enough for Seonghwa as well since he led San into another street next to the one they were in. This one was less crowded but somehow livelier than the previous one.

“Let’s go to your new home then.”

They traversed the street, Seonghwa's hand found his shoulder again to show him the way, softly pulling him to his side whenever they passed a big crowd or a bike passed next to them. San didn’t want to admit but the small gesture eased his anxiety a little, grounded him. They passed small cafes, groups of people making music and dancing in front of the colourful buildings. San heard people laughing, birds chirping and he smelled the sea which reached them with small breezes, which came from somewhere down the street. The coolness of the breeze soothed their skin which was warmed by the rays of the sun, shining with no clouds hiding it behind their white, fluffy frames.

Everything was full of life, San couldn’t perceive how the people were this cheerful. He wanted it to be fake, to see all of this as some kind of an act, but he couldn't. It was too real, too perfect.

Too human.

It was the opposite of San himself.

Seonghwa and he didn’t talk, they just walked further into the small town and as they walked, the crowd of people lessened and the sound of waves won over the din of the crowd. The sea had just appeared behind the buildings when Seonghwa softly pulled him in front of a small, four-floor building with white walls and bushes of gardenias in its small garden.

“We are here.” Seonghwa said and pulled a key from his pocket before opening the wooden door. It opened slowly and the smell of lavender coupled with something fresh filled his senses. Seonghwa held the door to him and San got inside, the smell only got stronger and San found himself taking a deep breath of the divine fragrance. The door opened to a living room that was immaculate but looked very lived in regardless. There were soft-looking white couches and a coffee table full of books and mangas that were put together neatly. He saw the source of the scent on the stairs. A heap of lavenders were hanging from the railing of the stairs and plenty of orchids sat on the shelves that were nailed onto the wall next to them. Wherever San looked there was a small plant or a pot of flower. On the shelves, on the bookcase next to the windows and even on the couches. Everything looked beautiful and homely.

They quickly discarded their shoes before they entered the house.

“I hope you will love our humble little home, the others put so much effort into it.” Seonghwa added with a smile apparent in his voice. San hummed as an answer as he scanned the room further. There were large windows across the room that led the sunshine inside and illuminated the room. It was perfect for all the flora inside. He wanted to inspect them, maybe smell and touch them too but Seonghwa was already moving towards the stairs and San ended up following him. He would have time to do as he pleased later, he reasoned with himself.

This was going to be his new home after all.

They climbed the stairs with San caressing the lavenders with touches that resembled Seonghwa’s. San saw all the floors were similar to each other in one way or another, with white walls and short halls with many more plants decorating the walls. Seonghwa led him to the upper floor that was somehow whiter than all of the others they passed. There were roses instead of the lavenders, crocuses and many other flowers he didn’t know the name of that decorated the other floors. There were many of them, almost in every colour but there were many lilac-coloured ones. It was the first time San saw those colours on a rose. He reached out to touch one of its petals in awe when they passed through the hall. He saw Seonghwa stop and watch him from the corner of his eye, but it didn’t stop him from caressing the soft petals of the flower. They were breathtaking.

“Do you like them?” Seonghwa asked after a while.

“They are beautiful.” San answered, with a breathy voice that sounded more like a whisper. The fragrance of the flowers combined calmed him considerably, they erased all the anger and sadness he had when he was on his way here.

Seonghwa opened the door at the end of the floor. He gestured at the other door that was located on the other side of it when San walked up to him. Said it was their bathroom.

“Our?” San asked.

“I guess they didn’t tell you. We will be roommates from now on. All the rooms here are for two people.” Seonghwa answered apologetically and held the door for San once again. San couldn’t even thank him when he entered the room first once again. He felt bad for it, almost.

The room wasn’t much different. White and grey tones dominating the space and many more roses around. The beds were neatly made and the walls were full of photo frames and rose vines. The vines were mostly around one of the beds which were located farthest from the window. The roses were all white and some of their petals fell onto the bed they made home to.

Seonghwa came inside after him and motioned San to come to the bed next to the window. There were some clean clothes on the bed and things like toothbrushes, towels and a hair comb.

“I know you don’t have your belongings with you. They don’t let us bring our things from the city.” Seonghwa said and walked towards a cupboard across their beds and opened the doors of it. They creaked as they opened slowly.

“This is our cupboard. We have to share it because a second one wouldn’t fit.” he continued. “The bottom shelves can be yours. I already put some clothes there for you but we can always go out and do some shopping.” he explained. San just sat on the soft mattress and watched Seonghwa move some clothes from the bottom to the top.

“But I don’t have any money.” San mumbled. Avoiding his gaze from Seonghwa's slender frame.

“Don’t worry, I can pay for you. We can find you a job whenever you get used to the town, there is no need to hurry.” He smiled at San reassuringly “The prices are reasonable here, you will be surprised how different it is from the city.”

San just nodded and glanced around nervously, not knowing what to do or say.

“I can leave you alone to rest and settle down. There are many shampoos and body washes in the bathroom, you can use anything you want, I won’t mind.”

“Is it because you have to look after me?” San blurted out and internally winced at how harsh he sounded, but he didn't stop there. “I don’t need you to baby me.” The other was acting extremely nice towards him, it bugged San to the point he uttered those words out without thinking of the consequences.

He quickly glanced at Seonghwa to see a sad look pass from his features, but the smile didn’t disappear, just fell a little.

“It was not my intention, sorry for making you feel like that.” he said and closed the cupboard. He didn't look at San directly when he continued “I will leave now, you must be tired after the trip.” and with that, he made his way to the door.

San felt bad with how unfair he was being to the other. He wasn’t like this, he wasn’t this rude to people.

“Where are you going? You don’t have to leave because of me.”

“It’s okay, I will be in the kitchen. The others will arrive around evening so I should start the dinner.” he met San's eyes for one last time “Feel free to join me anytime, we can talk about everything after dinner.”

After that, Seonghwa was gone, leaving San with his miserable self in the beautiful room that smelled of roses and the sea.

He sighed, a small sound in the room, and dropped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling which was covered with the same elegant roses. The whole room was full of life and well kept. Every part of the room was pristine clean but it was apparent in the way the books stood on the shelves, the papers and pencils on the white table that it was used frequently. Seonghwa seemed like an organized person, a responsible one too if him going to make dinner this early was any indication. San admired the other just from their first encounter. He seemed to got his act together for a while now. The way he moved, the way he conversed… He had a kind of discipline he only ever saw from his mother. It felt homely, familiar in a way he never actually experienced in life, but had it in him, somewhere inside. Behind closed doors that protected his heart from further emotional pain.

While he was laying down on the soft covers of his new bed, he saw a single rosebud open slowly, but it wasn’t like the others, it looked grey at first but it bloomed to be a single black rose, standing between the sea of white ones.

San stood up quickly and took the towel and comb from the bed, dashing out of the room where he had seen something he never experienced before. A rose not only blooming that fast but was also coloured black. His life was already filled with things that normal people would consider “extraordinary”. He had seen marks cover his body as time passed, he saw the so-called marks shine when they made touch with their counterparts... But he had never seen a flower that was dark in colour. San tried to take a deep breath to ground himself and bury the sudden anxiety that threatened to burst out. He felt like a stranger in his skin, his heart hammered like he was about to have a heart attack at that moment.

“It’s all in your head.” he slowly murmured the words he repeated over and over in the past years. “It’s all in your head don’t worry.” which did almost nothing to the feeling of his hands tingling and heart beating. They were all an effect of his anxiety.

He decided to take a quick shower and join Seonghwa as soon as possible. Being around people always helped his sudden anxiety attacks, it distracted him from the constant fear of dying or negative thoughts that surrounded him when he was alone in his room, usually leading him to the sharp metal of the certain tools he had in his desk.

Those things weren’t here anymore, he was safe. He finally had a chance at a new start even if it was not the most convenient. Taking a last deep breath, he opened the white door of the bathroom. He searched for the light switch inside but couldn’t find it. His search ended up with finding the switch outside the bathroom next to the door. Another new thing to keep in mind.

It was his new home after all.

The bathroom was small, smaller than his own back at his old house, with a single shower, a sink and a toilet in a small, square-like space. The tiles were the same white as the other rooms and the thing that stood out the most was the collection of soaps on the shower shelf. San almost counted twenty of them and then gave up, they were all colourful and were in small, glass bottles closed with cork stoppers. San put his belongings next to the sink and opened the shower door. It was transparent and San suddenly realised he needed to lock the door. San wondered how awkward it would be if Seonghwa suddenly entered the bathroom. He shook his head, he certainly didn’t want to think about that scenario.

He discarded his clothes swiftly, starting from his shirt while doing his best to not look at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t handle seeing his reflection, it would just make him feel worse. He put them next to the sink along with the other things in an inattentive way. It was not his priority to put them carefully. He got in the tub, opened the water and waited for the water to warm up. To his surprise, it did faster than he thought it would. The heaters here were also unbelievable. It seemed like a Utopia. He got under the water to warm himself up. His muscles relaxed considerably, almost all the tension leaving his shoulder momentarily. He took the bottles one by one, sniffing them all. Some smelled like roses and some like gardenias, but all of them had a flowery scent. How suitable for a home full of flowers. He chose one that smelled so much like Seonghwa’s room, a scent of roses with a hint of jasmine. A combination that suited each other most uniquely. He would feel a bit embarrassed about choosing this exact one but he needed to relax even if it meant he would smell like his caretaker.

It wasn’t that bad when he thought about it, It was probably his overdramatic head that made him think that. San wasn’t in the best state of mind at the moment.

He rinsed the soap from his hair and body, the smell wafting in the small bathroom. San hummed a small melody, a melody from a song he listened to these days. He wondered if there was internet here, or any shops that he could buy albums and a small walkman. He couldn’t imagine a life without music, but he was sure there would be alternatives. The town folks were from the city once too and with all the perfectness he saw around in an hour comforted him. He made sure to ask Seonghwa about it sometime.

San shut the water and squeezed the excess water from his hair which got longer over the year. He thought about cutting but he loved it as it was. It made him look better, in his opinion of course. He got out and took the towel to dry himself, wrapping it around his hip after. He combed his hair then got out of the bathroom, thanking everything in existence that he was still alone on the floor. He didn’t want anyone to see him half-naked, not yet.

The black rose was still there when he returned to the room but he tried not to look at it and busied himself with the cupboard. He didn’t remember which part was his, he prayed it was the top one when he took a sweater from there. A white, soft-looking sweater. He would wear his black pants he wore today under them until they could go out shopping. The sweater looked a little long on him. It was probably because Seonghwa didn’t know his size. The fabric still smelt of roses. His mind eased with the familiar scent, he left the towel over the headboard of his bed for it to dry and packed the small number of his items into the small nightstand next to it.

His still-damp hair made the collar of the sweater damp too since he didn’t dry it completely, he wasn't a person who dried their hair completely. He just left it to dry on its own as usual as he exited the room, closing the door behind him. He walked slowly, looking at the roses and touching some on his way. They were in every colour, every colour but black.

He climbed down the floors and looked at the other flowers that decorated them. San didn’t want to disturb anyone’s privacy so he just stood around the stairs while he checked around. The third floor was the floor with lilies, yellow and pink coloured. It wasn't overflowing with them but more like they showed the way to the room and got larger in number when they neared the doors. San wondered if the room itself was like Seonghwa's one with flowers on its every surface.

He moved to the second floor, seeing the flowers that were unknown to San once again. The flowers were colourful in a stick-like shape, blooming in every direction with a myriad of colours. Most of them bloomed from the white flower pots that hang from the walls, there were not many but they took enough attention with that quantity regardless.

Lastly came the first floor. The floor was full of crocuses, designed in a similar way to the third floor. Purple, white and yellow crocuses were blooming from the pots that were placed on the parquets. There were even some outside the window from what San could see from where he was.

San pondered on why every floor had different kinds of flowers, to add more individualism to the floors? Or maybe it was just what the residents preferred? Either way, San admired the amount of care these flowers most likely received. All of them looked healthy, their leaves and petals shining in the sunlight. San wondered if they would give him chores regarding the plants too. San wouldn't mind helping, to be honest, he anticipated it more than he thought.

A soft hum could be heard in the living room when he finally went down the last steps of the lavender-filled steps. San immediately noticed the smell of food mixing with the flowery scent of the house. He felt the mouthwatering smell pull him towards the kitchen, right to the source. He managed to remember knocking, opening the kitchen door to enter after the humming stopped and he heard a “Come in!” from inside.

The smell was stronger inside, which made San guess what it was.

The air smelled like rosemary and several other vegetables, simmering and radiating in a pot and radiating all their sweet fragrances into the small kitchen. Seonghwa was standing right in front of the stove, wearing a black apron and stirring the broth occasionally, but now those dark orbs were on him instead of the cooking meal.

“I am glad you decided on joining me. It becomes a little lonely here, even if these sweethearts are here with me all the time.” he gestured at the small plants on the counter. San saw a rosemary and basil plant along with ones that were probably also for cooking.

“There are so many plants in the house.” San said, with his eyes still on the plants. They didn’t look like their leaves were taken for dishes, it looked as if they were in their best condition. There was a potential of caretakers having an aura that healed everything around them, San thought, but it was way too magical even for them. Still, San had his suspicions on the matter.

“It is hard not to notice, is it.” Seonghwa sighed, turning his attention to the stove and closing the lid meanwhile lowering the heat further. “I and Jongho got them when we first moved in here. He is another roommate of us by the way.” he took his apron off and carefully hung it up behind the door, trying to keep his distance from San along the way, probably not to distress him. San didn’t mind it this time, Seonghwa’s rose scent made him mute the voice that screamed at him to keep his distance. “There weren’t many of them when we first moved here, they seemed to grow rapidly when they got used to the new atmosphere. The others also brought some flowers they got from the fields in the outskirts of the city.” he smiled softly, his eyes lost in some memories from the past. “They seem to love it here, our plants.”

San nodded, it was an answer he expected but it was still a bit bizarre. It probably really was just about the caretakers or the strange energy the town possessed. Everything was too lively, even the creatures of nature were affected by it. He walked to the small table and sat on the chair that was further away from the stove, a small action in order not to disturb Seonghwa while he worked.

“How many people live here?” he asked. The anxiety he felt earlier slowly forgotten with the small talk he made with him.

“We are now eight with you. You will meet most of them at dinner but Hongjoong and Mingi will be out for work today. They stay on the second floor.”

Oh, that floor. This was a great chance to ask about those unknown flowers. San went into action.

“What are those flowers on the second floor? I have never seen them before.”

Seonghwa’s eyes lit up with the question. “They are called Gladiolus! They are pretty uncommon on these lands, Hongjoong still won’t tell us how he got them.” Seonghwa sat on the other side of the table and continued. “They represent the strength of character and honour. You will see how much it suits their owners.” Seonghwa finished with a chuckle, leaning his head on his hand. The way he talked showed just how much he adored both their roommates and flowers.

“I see you found one of my sweaters.” Seonghwa said then, his eyes moving up and down on San’s frame, the previous topic suddenly being left behind. Embarrassment slapped San right on the face and his blood turned cold with realisation. He had remembered the places wrong after all. His storm of emotions must have shown on his face since Seonghwa got a little startled but still held onto the smile he previously had. It didn’t help San even a bit.

“Please don't worry about it! It’s just that it looks great on you.” Seonghwa said quickly and his smile turned into a grimace like he was in actual pain. San would laugh at the expression if he didn’t feel like burying himself into the ground. The moment was broken, San didn’t feel like talking anymore, he just wanted to disappear from Seonghwa's sight.

“I am sorry, I really shouldn’t have mentioned it.” Seonghwa said, letting go of the forced smile on his face. He looked genuinely sad about it and it made San feel worse knowing he was the source of it. San had upset the other yet again.

“It’s okay Seonghwa… Hyung?” he tried to say. “You are older than me, right?.”

“I am indeed, just by a year.” Seonghwa answered, looking glad that the topic changed. "How did you know?"

He was like an open book, almost everything showing on his face. San remembered the days when he was like him. How easier it was to engage with people.

"I had a feeling."

Seonghwa nodded in acknowledgement meanwhile San's face burned with the amount of awkwardness in the air. He could just go upstairs and change his outfit but it would most likely make Seonghwa feel worse, in the end, he accepted his fate and sat still.

“Is there anything I can help with?” he asked. That's how he found himself placing plates and cups on the table in the living room. Which was also, wait for it, white.

The plates were thankfully in different colours, none of them was the same with each. One of them even had a cat picture on it which made San giggle at how cute it was. Seonghwa came in with the pots with food right then. He had a huge smile when he placed it onto the middle of the table, probably hearing San giggling for the first time. San might be dead inside but San still held onto the few human characteristics that made life bearable.

They were almost finished with the table when the front door opened. He heard footsteps and chatters as they came into the living room. Turning around, he saw two people, their eyes meeting that exact moment.

The two were almost the same height and the first thing San noticed was their hands were interlocked, flowers blooming from the skin where their hands met and disappearing into the sleeve of their shirts. The stalks moved along with the petals on their skin, alive with their touch.

“Oh hello, you must be San!” one of them said, making him realise he was staring at their hands for long. He quickly looked up to see who was talking and saw the person smiling at him, not even offended by the prying gaze of San. He had a small rose next to his eye like Seonghwa had a star. He was probably the caretaker of the other man.

The man was trying his best not to look at San in the eye.

“I am Wooyoung and this is Yeosang. He can be a little shy so don’t mind him.” Wooyoung said laughing but wincing when Yeosang gripped his hand tighter, which caught San’s attention.

“Hello, nice to meet you too.” was his automatic response. He didn’t know what else to say but Seonghwa spoke up and saved him from the potential awkward silence.

“Welcome back! Where are Jongho and Yunho?”

Yeosang shrugged. “They were still cleaning the shop when we passed by. They told us they would be here in no time.”

“I don’t know why Jongho always denies our help when it's apparent Yunho wants it so bad.” Wooyoung said. Seonghwa just chuckled lightly.

“Jongho can be a little insistent. You know how he is.”

Seonghwa returned to the kitchen to get the rice while San continued to place the napkins. Wooyoung quickly came for help, taking almost all the napkins from him and placing them energetically and a bit carelessly.

“I am so happy that you are here.” he said as he placed the last one and sat on one of the chairs, motioning to San to sit next to him. San briefly checked on Yeosang’s reaction but saw nothing on the other’s face so he walked over and sat next to Wooyoung hesitantly, meanwhile Yeosang sat across them.

“It took you three years to find him.” Yeosang said. His voice was deeper than San expected and the cold spoken words made him shiver. He was about to ask what he meant by that but was stopped by the sudden hand that slapped Yeosang’s shoulder over the table, almost knocking off the cups and the jug of water. Yeosang yelped and held his shoulder, looking at Wooyoung with piercing eyes.

“Yeosang be nice! I know you don’t have malice behind your words but San can’t know that.” Wooyoung said.

“You didn’t need to hit me to say it Wooyoung the fuck?” Yeosang's voice ringed in the room.

The kitchen door opened and Seonghwa came with a tray full of bowls of rice, glancing between the two who were glaring at each other.

“No fighting at the dinner table.”

“He started it!”

“Wooyoung you hit me first!”

Seonghwa just shook his head, disappointed. He put the bowls one by one and the bickering continued, San tried his best not to laugh at how silly the two were. The door to the house opened once again then, making Wooyoung and Yeosang’s bickering come to a halt as all of them turned towards the door to see two boys coming inside with packets in their hands.

They hurried in, not even realising the new addition to their table and sat down quickly, the taller of the two sitting right next to San, still unaware of his presence.

The other boy put the packets down to the empty part of the table and apologised to everyone for being late. “It took us longer to close today, sorry for making you guys wait.”

Everyone just said it was okay. The boy next to San excitedly said they brought leftover cookies since they were the last ones in the cafe that day and opened the packets one by one, revealing the small, pretty cookies that looked delicious. After he finished opening them, the boy finally turned towards San and his eyes widened when he saw the stranger sitting next to him.

They looked at each other for a moment, none of the two saying anything. Suddenly the boy yelped, almost making San fall from his seat, startling him. San also let out a high pitched scream and held out his hands in a protective manner. The boy just screamed again and held San’s wrist, seeing the stars that decorated his skin.

“Oh my god he is finally here!” he started laughing, delighted. The boy across him also nodded with acknowledgement, looking at San with sparkling eyes. Everyone was just smiling at their interaction, everyone but San who had just almost experienced a heart attack. He couldn’t say anything when the hand holding his wrist moved towards his hand, holding it between the other’s bigger ones as he leaned further into San with a puppy-like smile.

“We have been waiting for you for so long. Everyone was extremely excited when we heard about your arrival!”

“We thought Seonghwa Hyung would wipe the dust off every petal in the house. He had been cleaning the house for the past week.” Wooyoung added, putting his hand on San's shoulder as he laughed. A high pitched sound that was surprisingly pleasant to hear.

“Yunho maybe you should introduce yourself first.” Yeosang said across them, holding his hand in front of his mouth, probably to hide his amusement behind it. Seonghwa also had a grimace like smile on his face but said nothing. San thought he saw pink on the elder's cheeks, he couldn’t be sure since his attention was once again on the boy in front of him, who looked a little embarrassed at his sudden outburst but was still smiling. San felt his lips curve up.

“I am Yunho! Sorry, I was a little excited when I saw you.” he said. The boy across them also held out his hand, San had half the mind to realise he wanted to shake hands and quickly held it with his free one.

“I am Jongho, I am the youngest in the house. I am younger than you too.” the boy introduced himself. His grip was firm but he didn’t hurt San. Jongho had a small water drop next to his eye, showing that he was a caretaker, probably of the over-excited boy that sat with them. He had chubby cheeks and features that displayed youth but his eyes and tone were mature. He was almost like Seonghwa, just a little younger.

“I am San.” he said, still a little clueless about the big smile on his face. “But you two probably knew that already.”

Jongho just nodded, Yunho laughed and finally dropped San's hand which were still between his. San kind of missed the gentle touch and the warmth the other brought but said nothing. His anxiety was long forgotten when he listened to Yunho talk about their day, how someone named Yeonjun tried to give the seagulls some stale cookies but ended up starting a “Seagull Massacre.” which ended with all their customers escaping inside the cafe, screaming. He had to stop from time to time to stifle his laughs, in the end, the story and Yunho’s animated storytelling made San giggle. High pitched and sudden, even surprising him. Everyone around him stopped and looked at San, eyes wide and mouths agape. San was about to apologise when suddenly Wooyoung and Yunho hugged him, shrieking and yelling how cute his giggle was.

“Did you hear it? Oh god, I am gonna die at how cute that was.” Wooyoung said as he hugged San harder, smushing San’s cheek a little along the way.

They were stopped by Jongho who had to get up and rip them apart forcefully, San inhaled quickly when the arms around him retreated, he was a little embarrassed but he was just overall happy. Happy as in smiling at everyone while listening to their days, asking for water when he finished without hesitating and thanking them after. Giving his cookie to Wooyoung when Yeosang stole it from Wooyoung’s plate, saying it was okay, that he didn’t like lemon flavour anyway. He was kind of surprised at how quickly he had warmed up to everyone, the small part of him whispered to him how this would too end, how they were just new acquaintances to him. He laughed along with them but deep inside started to fear the probability of these new people hurting him.

His leg was nudged slowly under the table while he delved further into his negative mindset. He quickly glanced around the table, finding Seonghwa’s eyes on him, with a single brow up in question. When their eyes met, Seonghwa smiled at him, mouthing him a “Come back.” before winking and returning to his meal. Nobody realised their small interaction, even San wondered if he imagined it.

All of them helped to clean the table after dinner. Jongho and Yunho tidied up the table while the others were in the kitchen, washing and placing the utensils. They let San help when he insisted that he wanted to help too but still gave him the easiest task which was drying the plates. San accepted it since it was better than doing nothing.

The sun was down and the moon shined brightly in the night sky when he and Seonghwa finally returned to their floor. Seonghwa let San do his self-care routine first. San was in his pyjamas that Seonghwa lent him, laying on his bed and looking at the black rose that still stood gloriously between its white siblings. He didn’t feel as bad anymore, the others calmed him considerably during the time they spent together.

Seonghwa entered the room but San didn’t look away from the rose, which led Seonghwa’s gaze wander to the small flower, following San.

San finally looked at him and saw his hair was still damp and there was a small towel around his shoulders, holding the tip with one of his hands to dry the locks. He moved to San’s bed and opened one of the drawers to search for something. A small scissor was in his hand when he finally closed it.

“San can I get on your bed for a moment?” he asked. San scooted away a little to let Seonghwa move easily, who got on the bed and leaned towards the rose, holding it gently before cutting it from the base where it connected with the main branch. The rose fell on his hand and Seonghwa jumped off. San watched him move towards the desk across the room and take one of the notebooks on it. He put the rose between its pages and closed it, putting the notebook under the heavier books that were on the desk.

“It has been a while since I last saw a black rose.” he said. The room was dark since none of them opened the lights. The only source of illumination of the room was thanks to the cloudless sky that let the moon cast light upon the town and into their small room. He couldn’t saw Seonghwa’s expression but heard the wonder in his voice.

“Why is there a single black rose between all of the white ones?” he asked to Seonghwa, who was now also laying on his bed, his face turned towards San.

“The roses here are not from a single root, it is more like a combination of plenty of other species.” Seonghwa said. “Normally roses are territorial plants, trying to overpower the other next to them. I guess they were both competent since none of them won.”

San just hummed. He didn’t know about flowers like Seonghwa did so it was easy to accept the explanation without further questioning. “They are like humans.” he mumbled under his breath.

“They are also a great example to show that not everything is supposed to fit into generalisations.” Seonghwa said back.

“You trying to prove me wrong is kind of ironic.”

Seonghwa chuckled “Touche, kind of. I just don’t want you to be negative. You are here with me now.”

To that, San didn’t answer.

“Do you want to talk now? We can always talk later too, you must be pretty tired after your first day.” Seonghwa said while sounds of sheet ruffling reached San. Seonghwa was probably tired. To be honest, he was too. Both mentally and physically.

“It would be better if we talk tomorrow.” he just said with a thin voice and turned towards the window. He could see the stars in the sky here, he realised when he first glanced out of the windows in the living room. Everyone found his excitement adorable when he gasped over a falling star. In the city, the sky was dark every night, devoid of the stars that shined beautifully here in this town. Whenever he looked at those twinkling small dots his marks tingled, reminding San of their presence, reminding that their other half was also with them, the other half who watched him lovingly all day. Who was now sleeping soundly behind him?

San listened to the slow breaths of Seonghwa and continued watching the stars, thinking about the conversation they had after dinner. They would wake up early for breakfast and the others would go to work meanwhile Seonghwa and San would go downtown for shopping.

“I have a week off from work so that I can help you settle in.” Seonghwa had said. “We still have so much to do!”

San sighed quietly. He had many thoughts trying to get a hold of his tired mind but failed. The thoughts that would haunt him once he was woken up and was left alone. He was still not used to the fact that he was with his caretaker now but secretly hoped Seonghwa would aid him in his times of need. He had just met the elder, but after spending half a day with him, a small trust and a glint of hope bloomed inside him like all the flowers in the house. Seonghwa had dark, warm eyes that watched San constantly. He had so many kinds of smiles, some of them being more like a grimace but still made the other look cute and some of them just made him shine brighter than all the stars combined. He felt like home, whenever San looked at the small star on his face, he felt at home.

San closed his eyes slowly when thinking became harder and harder every passing minute. He started falling asleep, his thoughts filling with a certain raven-haired man with the warmest smile San received after a drought of sincerity.

That night he slept with a promise of tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/kelktea)


	2. Good Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to write shorter chapters for a while. I will write longer ones if the plots require but yeah.

San woke up to the sound of a door closing, when he opened his eyes, the sudden brightness blinded him. San closed his eyes as fast as he opened them and turned his back to the light coming through the window. San wasn't feeling groggy per se, but he was very comfortable underneath the warm blankets, he just wanted to lie there.

Of course, that comfort came from the cluelessness that someone would experience when they had just woken up, not even aware of themselves or things around them. Those came to a person slowly, starting from when they first raise their heads from their pillows to the first moment they check themselves out in the mirror and realise "Oh, I am awake again."

San was still out of it when he heard the door open, he huffed into his pillow and pulled the blanket over him, like a shield that would protect him from intruders around. It didn't work, it did the exact opposite and took the attention of the person that had just come into the room.

"I was about to wake you up, sorry if I was loud."

The person talked fast, San couldn't register all the words and just pushed the blanket off of him, eyes still closed. He hummed, to what, he didn't know exactly. It was just a reflex to someone talking more than something that held meaning. He arched his spine from the mattress, stretching obnoxiously as he groaned. He let himself melt into the bed again with a soft sigh and opened his eyes.

The boy with raven hair and slitted eyes looked back at him. He was wearing a soft white sweater and blank pants that looked so familiar to the sleepy San. The other was looking at him with sparkling eyes, San couldn't perceive how the other was so energetic right from the morning.

He closed his eyes again and snuggled back into his pillow.

"Five more minutes." he mumbled into it with his cheek squished.

"We are about to have breakfast, you should wake up before everyone finishes off the food." Seonghwa said and San heard footsteps approaching him.

A gentle hand brushed the revealed skin of his forearm. The skin of the other was considerably colder than his own and he winced a little and tried to escape it. He tried to reach back for his blanket but the hand stopped him, held San's hand which reached down to grasp the material and pulled it away.

"San come on, you will sober up in no time if you get out of the bed." 

But San didn't listen. San grasped the hand of the person who intruded his sleep and pulled it with all the strength in his newly-awakened body, resulting in the other falling on his body with a yelp and steal the breath from San's lungs with the sudden weight. Even that didn't stop San as he embraced the thin frame of the other and tried to pull him further into the bed.

The struggling stopped suddenly and with the latest addition of warmth San lulled further into sleep, the fragrance of the roses and a hint of jasmine just helped him further.

Hands brought him back into reality when they pushed him away slowly and San felt the body got away but never leaving his side. He felt his hair being pet and he opened his eyes to see the boy's face so near to his that he smelled the mint of the toothpaste. 

"You make me feel bad that I am waking you up." Seonghwa said. He was smiling down at San with sad eyes and San found himself getting lost in them. Seonghwa got up to give him space, San detested the moment with his all sleep hazy self but still, he got up, almost like he was pulled by the eyes that got away from him.

"There you go." the smile only grew when San slowly turned and put his bare feet on the cold wooden ground "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" He held his hand out and San's eyes moved from his eyes to his hand. The other had beautiful hands, his fingers long and thin and veins decorating the pale skin. He gladly took it and stood up, a little unbalanced but he had the elder to lead him out from their room and to the bathroom. 

"I will go down and prepare a plate for you, come down when you finish." Seonghwa gave him one last smile and San watched him go to the stairs, only after whispering to the roses on his way. The words that left Seonghwa sounded so much like "Good morning.". He could swear the roses answered back, but if someone were to ask how, San wouldn't be able to find an answer.

He just felt it.

Brushing his teeth and doing the basic morning deeds were nothing but a habit by now. It needed minimal usage of his attention and it always ended as soon as it started. Starting was the hard part, once he found the energy, it was just a series of practised action.

He splashed cold water to his face, trying to get his senses back. Slowly he had started to remember where he was, what had happened the previous day.

He held the sides of the sink and leaned down to take in a breath. He hated to wake up, this was the part of it that was the worst. He slowly raised from the marble surface to see his reflection stared back at him.

Why did those eyes that looked at him had so much grief and sadness in them? When had they turned from their youthful selves to ones that looked with nothing but forced down maturity?

He laughed to himself and watched his lips curl up in mirth.

"Oh." his thin voiced echoed in the small bathroom.

"I am awake again."

He dried his face into the sleeve of his pyjama. The wet clothe stuck to his forearm but San paid it no mind and returned to his room and in front of the cupboard. This time as he opened the creaking doors of the wooden furniture, he paid extra mind to which part was his. He kneeled to the bottom to find himself something to wear. There weren't many options. He found sweaters that were so much alike, they were all some tone of white or cream. He didn't found any pants nor sweats, he huffed a little. He felt glad that he had chosen a plain black pant to wear here. At least it would look good enough under the twin-like clothes that were in the cupboard.

He changed his clothed in silence, there weren't any mirrors in the room, not that he would ever look if there were one. He glanced around once more when he was done. He didn't want to make Seonghwa wait any longer so he got out of the room.

The flowers greeted the now awakened San. The brightness that came between the white curtains illuminated the hall. San found himself smiling to the flowers like Seonghwa did that morning. He quickly turned around to open the curtains, that way the light would fill the whole space, giving the flowers their much-needed illumination.

He imagined the roses thanking him, he turned and touched every one of them as he made his way to the stairs, greeted them in his own way.

The smell of something sweet got stronger with every floor he climbed down. The smell was strong that it even overpowered the scent of lavenders when he finally took the last steps down. He located the table and realised it was fuller than it was yesterday. There was only one empty chair on the table and it was once again next to Wooyoung's.

He walked towards the table and the first one to notice him was a person he hadn't seen before. The person's eyes lit up immediately and he got up from the table.

"He is here!"

San got a bit startled by the deep voice that ringed in the room but he was too close to back away now, not that it would do him good if he did end up escaping. The person had fiery red hair and a small, red mark of a flame next to his eye. Another caretaker, probably either Hongjoong or Mingi that Seonghwa told him yesterday.

Another boy, considerably shorter than the other turned back from his seat to look at San. His hair was also red, a little brighter than the taller one's. He had a smile on his face as he regarded the new person in the room. By the time San came and sit down, everyone's eyes were on him.

Mingi was still standing when San looked at him. They exchanged a look that was pure hesitation, both of them waiting for the other to say something. 

The smaller boy beats them up to it. He turns to San smiling. "Good morning." he says, "I am Hongjoong and the bean pole standing there is Mingi." he snickers a little and watches the boy named Mingi as the other realises what Hongjoong says. Mingi sits down and blushes, he looks cute, San feels kinda bad for him.

"I am San." he answers simply. He checks the table as he says so, sees that almost everyone had finished their plates, aside from Yeosang, who plays with the torn pancakes on his plate while looking elsewhere. He looks lost in thought, probably a bad morning San assumes.

When he and Hongjoong shares one last smile, Seonghwa perks up and leans to the corner of the table, taking a plate full of pancakes and puts it down in front of San.

"Here, we spared you some, Yunho almost finished the whole serving while you were still upstairs." Seonghwa chimed in and looked at Yunho disapprovingly to which Yunho immediately got in defence mode.

"What? No, I didn't, I left them especially for San!" He threw his hands up, almost hitting his cup but missed it with a small gap. San watched the small debate and hoped they wouldn't continue, he didn't have enough energy for morning shenanigans. All of them had so much energy which shocked San.

"It's okay." he tried, "Thanks for saving some for me."

Seonghwa didn't look convinced but he shrugged, he took some empty plates from the table and checked on Yeosang. His eyes followed his hand and saw the almost full plate. He looked like he wanted to say something but when San thought he would, he just turned around and left. San suspected something was going on, he had also felt something was wrong with the way Yeosang acted this morning and now he was hyper-focused on the other.

He wanted to say something to him but he couldn't. He didn't feel comfortable enough to start conversations with others yet. He wondered if Wooyoung realised something was up too, he was Yeosang's caretaker, he probably should have. San didn't want to be nosy, he was just a new person in the house, the last thing he wanted to do was to overstep some boundaries.

Wooyoung was conversing with Jongho, they were talking about the cafe from yesterday. Hongjoong and Mingi were quietly finishing their breakfast. He turned to look at Yunho but got confused when he couldn't see him on the table. Had he left when San was lost in his own world?

Eventually, the breakfast ended. Seonghwa had returned from the kitchen to take the other plates. Yeosang caught Wooyoung's hand even before the other could utter a word and pulled him out of the house, wishing everyone goodbye hastily. Seonghwa's eyes were narrowed as he watched the other two open the door and disappear into the street.

Every plate on the table was empty, especially Yunho's looked squeaky clean but between all of them stood one that looked like a murder scene. The pastry was ripped into bits, some mushy with the syrup on top and it looked like Yeosang hadn't taken a single bite from it.

Everyone dispersed after a while. Hongjoong and Mingi stayed behind to help Seonghwa and San cleaning the table meanwhile Yunho and Jongho left to open the cafe. They worked quietly in the kitchen, Hongjoong sometimes asked him about his life in the city and Mingi almost squealed with excitement when San mentioned he loved playing games.

"We should play together sometime, I have a PlayStation in my room!"

San also felt a tingle of excitement, maybe not as strongly as Mingi's but it was close enough.

"Do they sell devices here?" he asked and took the plate Seonghwa passed him. "I want to buy something I can listen music with."

"Hongjoong is your guy then, he has a friend who sells music equipment in the town." Seonghwa answered, "They can even give you a discount."

San almost cried in joy then and there.

"Actually, I can bring one from my studio." Hongjoong murmured, "I think my old walkman is still there somewhere."

San's was sure his eyes were sparkling when he thanked Hongjoong. He was beaming with the amount of happiness that filled him, maybe he and Seonghwa would go to the place he mentioned to buy some CDs when they went out for shopping. The possibilities and how his day would turn out made him restless, in a good way. It was an amazing feeling, to be excited for the rest of his day.

It had been a while since he last felt like that.

But something was still bugging him. The look in Seonghwa's eyes at breakfast, the unfinished food on Yeosang's plate. Whenever he remembered the wasted food, he felt an unpleasant tightness in his chest. He hoped Yeosang would eat later in the day. He hated it when people didn't eat or skipped meals. It made him uncomfortable.

They finished their task and said goodbye to each other. Mingi and Hongjoong left first, leaving Seonghwa and San alone in the house.

"How was your first morning in the house?" Seonghwa asked.

"It was okay." San shrugged. He had been very uncomfortable but Seonghwa didn't need to know that.

"Shall we take our leave too?"

"Yeah, sure."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/kelktea)


	3. Irises and Silk Shirts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments from the last chapter, I appreciate every one of them and here is the third chapter! Thank you all for your patience.  
> Also I accidently gave Hongjoong red eyes in the previous chapters. I fixed it to brown again, just letting everyone know ahah.

Seeing a place for the first time was intimidating.

Seeing a place for the second time was almost the same, but this time, a fragment of familiarity made itself known.

San wasn't sure if it soothed his nerves or further provoked them. The thing he knew for sure was that the presence of his caretaker grounded him, even if he didn't want to admit it. Seonghwa walked next to him, his slender frame graceful and a soft smile on his sharp features. San looked down more than he looked ahead, his posture a little slumped down compared to Seonghwa's. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw the constellations peeking through the collar of the white silk shirt of Seonghwa's, one that was fairly big on him with a black necktie loose around his neck.

"The weather is nice today." Seonghwa commented softly. The two moved through the empty pavements of the same street they had traversed yesterday. Once human filled alleys were now surrounded by quietness and tranquillity. Everyone either asleep or at work, opening their businesses.

"It's warm." San said, "I hate it when it's warm in fall."

The weather had its morning chill still since it was around ten in the morning, San was surprised when he first checked the time when they were at the house. It had been a while since he woke up early, back in the city, he opened his eyes to the day when it was almost halfway over. When he glanced around them and breathed the fresh air of the morning, he realised he had missed it, the mornings where it was still devoid from all the presence of the others.

"I see, let's not waste our time then. The weather will become warmer as time passes. The heat of the noon is unbearable around these times."

They were going to the town hall first, to take identity cards and fill the papers regarding his arrival and stay. It was the only monotonous thing they had to do, Seonghwa explained to him. They would go to the tailor after, to take clothes for San and maybe even find some attires that could pique his interest. Hongjoong would help them to find other pieces than the usual patch they gave to newcomers out of practicality.

"Hongjoong and Wooyoung work in the tailor, they love to dress people up. It can be a little overwhelming so heads up for that." 

Whatever, San thought, it wouldn't be as bad as paperwork.

Around an hour and a half later, the two of them arrived at the town hall. The offices and people were very organised and quick with work, so different than the city where people struggled to get their work done. The officers there didn't look like they hated life like their colleagues back in the city. They smiled when they saw San, welcomed him and explained everything he needed to know and do without getting irritated. It was still boring to read all the papers and sign plenty of them but in the end, it wasn't as bad as San thought it would be.

Seonghwa stayed with him throughout it all. He helped San time to time, but when he wasn't needed, he moved to the corner where small plants were put as a decoration to wait for San. 

"Seonghwa is a good boy." one of the older ladies with a butterfly next to her eyes said to San. "I hope you can find your peace with his help."

San must have looked a little dumbfounded because the lady laughed a little. "Caretakers know and feel emotions a lot more than regular people son, never forget that."

They were out into the sun that shone brighter than before after they finished up. San didn't even flinch when the light hit his skin, the wandering mind of his still on the old lady and her puzzling words.

"Are you ready to go to tailor now? We can rest a little if you want." Seonghwa said, returning San to the earth and away from his thoughts.

"No, it's okay. I'm ready." 

Or San thought he was because nothing could prepare him to the chaos that was the tailor.

There were many people, some sewing, some arranging clothes and more of them yelling at each other. The moment they got in, resulting in the small bell on the door to ring, the thin sound mixing with the din of the tailors, all heads turned to them and a short moment of silence took hold of the workshop.

"Hey guys, where is Hongjoong? This is San, we are here to get him clothes."

If it was loud before, now it was bursting with excited yells and people speaking to each other. San winced a little with the sudden noise. Two girls came to them with huge smiles on their faces.

"Oppa is he your destined one? He is so cute!" the girl with braided hair asked. She didn't touch San which he was glad, but took a close look at him, seizing him up and down.

Seonghwa's lips curled up, his eyes sparkled with a sudden burst of affection. "Yes, Yeji he is."

"Yeji unnie let's go find Hongjoong oppa, Seonghwa oppa you can wait here we will go get him!"

"Thank you Charyeong, come on San let's sit."

They sat on the chairs across the room with an audience before them. San tried to ignore the curious glances on him but it was getting harder by the minute. Seonghwa was remarkably calm. San wondered how he could be that casual around so many people watching them with their prying eyes. He didn't realise he was holding his thigh in a tight grip until Seonghwa put his hand on his. The star on his wrist lightened up a little, resulting in San to release his grip. A surge of calmness filling him right after.

"They are just curious San don't worry, Hongjoong will be here in any minute."

San nodded as an answer and when he looked at Seonghwa, he saw his star was shining too. San was mesmerised, too lost in the sight of the handsome features of his caretaker to even realise Hongjoong coming towards them, yelling at everyone to continue their work.

"San, Seonghwa! I was waiting for you two." 

Hongjoong's red hair flashed like a fire under the bright fluorescent lights, his smile reached his ears when he looked at the two of them. He had a measuring tape around his waist like a belt and in every pocket of his loose cargo pant were scissors and pencils. 

"Let's start then! We have some new-made pants in the back, I think they are near San's size but we should check it out. Also, San, don't hesitate to tell me your preferences, we have almost everything here."

They moved between the loud sewing machines and people running around. They arrived at a much smaller room with many shelves and tables in it, each one of them full of clothes.

"My my, is he the new one? He sure is a beautiful one!" a small woman cried in joy when he spotted the three boys entering. 

"San this is Sunmi noona, she helps us design everything here."

"What a beautiful name like the boy himself. How can I help you, sweetheart?"

"We are here to get him clothes, he just arrived yesterday." San felt glad that Seonghwa elaborated instead of him. The sudden compliments overwhelmed him, San couldn't mutter back anything to the woman, not even a small 'thank you'.

"I see, you are lucky you got here when the first patch got finished, come here sweetheart, let's get your measures."

And taking measures they did. Throughout it, he received only more compliments. San was sure he was either beet red or had a grimacing smile like Seonghwa's.

"Look at how small his waist is compared to his shoulders."

"His hips are so narrow should we hire him as a model?"

Hongjoong was laughing at his misery meanwhile Seonghwa watched him with half concerned, half amused eyes from the corner of the room. They let him try them in the privacy of the small corner only the tables obscuring down his hips. San was unable to hide his body, the best he could do was to turn his back to them. It was inevitable when they saw all the stars on his arm and shoulder, the tangled yet neat constellations painting his slightly tanned skin. Their eyes lingered on them, especially on the bunch located on his forearm.

However, none of them commented on it. The silence was a poor attempt to not make San feel bad meanwhile San had already felt uncomfortably exposed. Especially from the evident pity in Sunmi's eyes.

"I am sure it is enough noona, we can always come again to get new ones." Seonghwa said to break the tense atmosphere Sunmi created. His arms were full of new clothes, San and Hongjoong carried the other bunch, following right after Sunmi and Seonghwa. 

Sunmi seemed disappointed. Regardless, she let them go without further quarrels.

"Come talk to me if you can't find a job that interests you, honey. I am sure Yeosang will have more fun with a colleague."

"Yeosang? He works here too?" San found himself asking without much thought.

They got back into the main room and tried to find some spare bags to put all the clothes in, Seonghwa took the job onto himself and started to fold them neatly and pack them up.

"Yes he does, he models here for Sunmi and some others."

San suddenly got reminded of the plate full of mushed up food and Yeosang leaving fast with Wooyoung. He felt a pang of anxiousness in his chest which made his breath hitch with how unexpected it was.

It couldn't be, could it?

His wrist burned and from the corner of his eye he saw Seongwha's star light up as well as the ones around his shoulders. Seonghwa's head turned towards him as well as everyone present in the stuffed room turned their gazes to Seonghwa, especially onto his shoulder with the brightly coloured stars.

"Hongjoong can you pack the rest, San and I will be going outside for a bit."

Hongjoong glanced between them and nodded slowly, understanding. He took Seonghwa's place and started folding the rest of the clothes without the same tediousness Seonghwa possessed. 

"Come on, let's get some fresh air San."

San felt their stares even when he was getting out of the door. Only when the door closed behind them he took in a deep breath. Their marks slowly faded away with every second that past. 

"You felt distressed."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. San sighed and closed his eyes, trying to feel if the same anxiousness from before delved within himself. 

It did, but it was weaker now.

"I am sorry, I must have looked weird."

Seonghwa shook his head the moment those words left his lips. 

"You didn't San, it was just the stars that took everyone's attention. You should always remember, whatever happens in this town, everyone in this town had most likely seen or experienced it themselves."

He took a step towards him, his delicate hands brushing San's fringe from his face.

"Lift your head." he smiled affectionately like his touch that lingered on his hair "I will take the packets then we can leave. I won't ask you about it if you don't want to mention it, okay?"

San nodded dumbly and watched Seonghwa enter the building for the last time. They were on their way to the cafe which Yunho and Jongho worked not much after.

Their hands full of bags and streets now filled with overjoyed people they walked between the flower-filled buildings to an opening with a small fountain in the middle.

There were small cafe's and shops scattered around the square, but they moved towards one in particular. A cafe with the colour of white and blue, San could see Jongho outside, planting some sort of plant in the blue coloured pots. 

"Is it Iris time already?" 

The younger man turned to them, his chubby cheeks covered in dirt and his hands holding the plants tenderly. Jongho smiled and ushered them in, only after leaving the plants on the pots carefully.

"If we want to see them this spring it is the perfect time to plant them. I told Yunho to fill in for me while I was away."

"The others aren't here today."

"They took a day off, it wasn't busy like usual, lucky for us." 

The cafe smelled of lavenders and coffee. A combination San never knew he would like together. The air inside was fresh and their surroundings were illuminated prettily. Nothing was over-decorated, even the cluster of cups and jars of cookies on the wooden counter looked aesthetically pleasing.

"Hello hyung, hello San!" Yunho waved at them enthusiastically when they made it to the counter. "How may I serve you today?"

"San do you like coffee?"

"I do."

After around five minutes of quiet chatter about their days, San took his now ready and very black coffee while Seonghwa took his cup of green tea. He told San that he couldn't drink coffee although he tried in the past. It was too bitter for his tastebuds.

"Didn't you try it with milk?" San asked when they sat down next to the window with a great view behind it.

"I did, it is much more bearable than plain ones but I don't prefer the taste."

San hummed, he adored the bitterness of coffee, both cold and hot so it was a little hard to relate to Seonghwa.

"Anyway, since we are done with major things, do you have anything you want to ask me?"

San wondered about it for a minute, looking at the steaming black liquid in his white cup. He wanted to ask so many things but he couldn't form it into words or coherent thoughts.

In the end, he asked the first thing that he could express via words.

"How did you come here?"

There was no hiding it that this was on San's mind since the time Yeosang told him Seonghwa waited for him for three years. Seonghwa took a sip from his tea.

"When my star appeared next to my eye, I volunteered to come here. Not everyone volunteers these days, that's why it took me a while to handle all the paperwork regarding my transfer". He smiled and continued "I was lucky to have Jongho by my side. We moved here together when I learned there was another volunteer like me."

"You mentioned it was you and him that got the flowers to the house." San added in.

"Yeah, It is lonely here. Maybe that's why we tried to fill the void of loneliness with the presence of all those flowers. You wouldn't expect with all the joy radiating off of the town that some would feel like they were alone. Jongho and I stuck together when we had to move to a place. We didn't want to be alone. When caretakers arrive at the towns, they have to form groups of at least two to live. The higher-ups don't let us live alone. They think it is better for everyone with the added help" Seonghwa said matter of fact like it was something well known.

"Why?"

"The more caretakers means fewer chances of slips. We are only human, after all. We can cover up each other's mistakes."

San scoffed, "It is not your job to baby your destined ones. Why would they act like you are just tools?"

Seonghwa looked a little taken aback, not much since the only indication of it was his slightly raised eyebrows. He was slowly but surely getting used to San's little outbursts.

"But we are." he rolled up his sleeve to reveal the dark ink as if it would further prove his remark. "We are born for it San. It is why were are alive in the first place."

San felt the weight of guilt on his shoulders. Seonghwa leaned slightly forward to held his hand that froze on the table. Their marks shined which made San feel calmer almost instantly. But the moment he realised the abnormal feeling of calm, he hastily pulled his hand away.

"You are doing something, aren't you?" San felt more panicked and their marks never stopped shining, just turned a crimson red and burned their skin. 

"Just let me take care of you San." 

San wanted to yell in frustration. He knew the feelings disappeared way too conventionally. He wanted to ask more, and he almost did if it hadn't for Yunho appear next to them. It stopped San from yelling out all the thoughts that stormed inside of him

"Sannie did you like your coffee! I made you some from the beans we roasted today!" Yunho was very bubbly as he asked San with a smile full of anticipation. His eyes moved from the mug to San's eyes and San couldn't help but smile at Yunho. 

"I loved it." San surprised himself by answering sincerely and kindly, "It has been a while since I drunk a coffee this fresh."

Yunho just smiled harder at his answer and San after a long while felt the warmth of adoration in him. Yunho was just a ball of sunshine it seemed, warming everyone around his axis, sharing the warmth of his happiness and kindness with people. So much that the amount of excitement he showered San with after his compliment made them almost forget the heavy atmosphere around them.

Well, almost, San was bad at dismissing things that happened with him and people. He would just wait for a better time to question Seonghwa further. Until then, he would let the topic slide.

"We sometimes bring fresh beans to home, Seonghwa hyung doesn't drink but Hongjoong hyung adores coffee, probably in a very concerning rate but hey! At least Mingi makes sure he drinks enough water."

Yunho chatted with them for a while, well, he did most of the talking but had to leave when new customers entered the cafe. Yunho looked a little frustrated but still, he smiled professionally as he approached the two woman next to the counter.

Seonghwa watched him go with warm eyes for a short moment before turning back to San, smiling a little apologetically. 

"I know he can be overwhelming, but he seems to like you a lot already."

San just turned his gaze away. His cheeks burned a little from the statement, the way Seonghwa's brown eyes met with his took him off guard. He uttered out a soft thanks and Seonghwa being the saint he is, dropped the topic.

"What about you?" Seonghwa asked, making San lift his gaze and meet his eyes again.

"What do you mean?" San's asked back with a soft voice.

"How did you end up here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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**Author's Note:**

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